


In the Dark of Night

by burgundyChills



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F, Mutual Pining, Sleepy Cuddles, Slow Burn, unnecessary angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:54:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28250457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burgundyChills/pseuds/burgundyChills
Summary: Jen and Judy only feel comfortable loving each other after the sun goes down.
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	In the Dark of Night

Judy is not sure why she’s at Jen’s door at this hour. She knows it’s unlikely that Jen is awake. Judy turns around and starts to head back downstairs. Knots start to form in the pit of her stomach. The thought of being alone tonight fills her with dread. She doesn’t think she can stand another night filled with dreams of car crashes and death. Judy turns abruptly and she’s at the door again. Her knuckles are at the door as if they have a mind of their own.

Knock knock

“Jen, are you up?”

“Hmm” Jen stirs, not quite awake.

Judy peaks her head to look inside the room. “O you’re asleep” Judy whispers.

This snaps Jen to consciousness. She sees Judy turning away.

“Jude. Come back.”

As Judy comes in, Jen scans Judy for signs of an emergency. Judy is tense, but there are no signs of panic. Jen scoots to the farthest side of the bed and pats the sheets on the side closest to Judy, a silent signal for her to join.

Judy lets out a sigh of relief. She joins Jen without saying a word. Judy gives Jen a quick smile before turning on her side and pulling the covers over herself.

Just as Judy is about to fall asleep, she feels Jen’s arm snake over her middle and pull her into warmth. Judy gasps surprised by the intimacy. She feels her heart jump into her throat, yet instinctively, she also pushes into Jen’s body for more warmth. She brings her hand over Jen’s and interlaces her fingers over them. Jen responds with a squeeze as she snuggles her face into the nape of Judy’s neck. Judy feels every taut muscle in her body release.

She feels a pang of guilt at how much she’s enjoying this. It gradually dissipates with each puff of air she feels tickle her neck. Judy sleeps like a baby.

* * *

Jen wakes up to cold sheets and an empty bed.

“Jude?” Jen looks around; Judy is nowhere to be found. She remembers Judy snuggled up to her last night, but Jen is not entirely sure it wasn’t a dream. Her feelings for Judy were becoming uncomfortably large. Leave it to her to turn them into a cuddly dream. She knows it was most likely a figment of her imagination, but a part of her still hopes.

Jen rolls out of bed and hops into the shower. When she’s out, the familiar smell of tomatoes and basil hits her nostrils. Judy’s making breakfast as usual. Everything is normal. Jen hears her stomach growl in response. Also, she’s hungry.

Jen heads downstairs and finds Judy and Henry giggling over the counter, while Charlie is hunched over his phone as he shoves frittata into his mouth.

Judy looks up and notices Jen “Hey Jen.”

Henry runs over to hug her.

Jen smiles and kisses his forehead. “Morning Boop.” 

Charlie finally looks up from his phone and says, “Mom, we’re going to be late hurry.”

“Morning to you too Charlie.” Jen says as she rolls her eyes.

Truth be told, Jen was feeling so disoriented by her dream last night that she had nearly forgotten that it was a workday. It wasn’t the first time Judy starred in her dreams. Jen tries to suppress the memories of waking up drenched in the middle of the night due to very inappropriate dreams.

Jen’s thoughts are interrupted when Judy slides over a slice of frittata and a cup of coffee.

“Thanks Jude.” Jen stares at Judy a little longer looking for a hint that last night indeed happened.

Judy’s head tilts in question. _Okay, not a dream then_ , Jen thinks to herself. _I guess going years without being touched will do that to a person_. Jen responds with a shake of her head and digs in.

* * *

Judy is outside talking to Natalie, a resident’s daughter.

“It seems I have you to thank for the many paintings my dad keeps sending me.”

Judy giggles. “Your dad is really talented! He has a natural gift for painting landscapes.” 

Natalie smiles. “You’ve definitely inspired him; he won’t stop talking about you!” She winks and adds “I can’t say I blame him.”

Judy blushes, not sure how to respond. She is not ready to start dating again. Well, if Judy is honest with herself, she is ready, she just doesn’t want to. Her heart already belongs to someone else. Flashing headlights save Judy from having to respond. Jen’s car is on the corner.

“O that’s my ride! It was nice chatting Natalie.” Judy smiles and heads to the car.

“Hey Jen!” Judy hops into the passenger seat and gives Jen a side hug. “How did your day go today? I know you had to spend some time with Lorna.”

“It was a fucking shitty day. I don’t know why that woman has so much power over me!”

Judy wishes she could swallow all of Jen’s pain. She would carry it for her if she could. She places her hand on Jen’s arm. “It makes a lot of sense that she affects you so much. I’d be confused if she didn’t.

Jen seems to consider it. “Fair. But also, she’s a total b*tch.”

Judy laughs “You’re not wrong.”

When they are approaching home, Jen asks “Soo… tell me about that girl! I definitely detected some laughing and flirting.”

Judy tenses and her cheeks are on fire. When did it start to feel weird talking to Jen about this stuff? “Ugh, yea that’s not what that was.”

Jen turns. “Then why are you blushing so hard?”

“Well she _was_ flirting with me. But I’m not interested.”

Jen tilts her head in thought. “Why not? She seems cute. And I don’t detect serial killer vibes.”

Judy knows that she should laugh in response, but she realizes this a second too late. She’s too busy thinking to herself, _because I want you_. Before, Judy has time to find an appropriate response, they are home and Karen is running to the car.

“Hey girls,” Karen asks while jogging in place. “There’s a super cool Winefest in town this weekend! I’d love it if you both joined. Ever since Jeff left it’s been hard –”

“Sure!” Judy cuts her off. “We would love to!”

Jen gives her an incredulous look. “We would?”

“It’s settled then! I’ll text you both the info!”

Before Jen can object, Karen runs back to her house.

“What the hell Judy!?”

Judy laughs, happy for the topic change. “Karen just got a divorce. And this is a chance for us to meet new people.”

“Really?” Jen asks. “You actually want to meet the people of Laguna Beach?”

“Pleeeaaase Jen” Judy pulls out the puppy face.

Jen rolls her eyes and hops out of the car; Judy knows she’s won.

Jen jets to the kitchen. “I need a drink.”

* * *

Jen is using Lorna and Karen to explain the downhill shift in her mood, but she knows that doesn’t even begin to cover it. Why the fuck is Judy being so weird about this girl? Jen’s not sure why it bothers her so much and she is not trying to find out. Jen fills her glass of wine glass to the brim.

Judy enters the kitchen and notices how ridiculous Jen looks trying not to spill wine from her overfull glass. Judy raises her eyebrows and smirks. Jen thinks she’s saying _oh so it’s that kind of night I see_. Judy grabs her own glass and fills it to the brim as well.

Jen bursts out laughing, and Judy joins her a second later. When Judy’s laughter causes her to spill some wine on the floor, they double down and laugh even harder.

 _God, I love her so much_. Jen freezes. _Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK_. This suppression thing is not working.

“Where did you just go there?” Judy asks.

Jen gathers herself. She considers a world where she answers that honestly, then immediately laughs internally. “Um nowhere. Want to watch some Facts of Life?” Jen’s eyes plead with Judy, _please cut me some slack_.

Judy crinkles her eyebrows and tilts her head in doubt. She walks over to the TV anyway.

* * *

Judy wishes the boys were not at Lorna’s for the weekend. They would help cut the tension. Judy’s not sure how Jen feels about having been ambushed in the middle of the night, so she sits a little farther from Jen then usual. She doesn’t think she can face rejection right now; she doesn’t think she can risk losing what they have now.

Two overfull glasses of wine and a significant number of laughs later, there is only a sliver of air separating them. When Jen moves to cross her legs on the couch and her leg brushes over Judy’s, the touch feels like a burn. Judy’s mouth drops and she forgets to breath for a moment.

Jen reacts at record speed and removes her leg. When Judy remembers to breathe, she feels a sting in her chest at Jen’s reaction. The sliver of space between them vibrates as though an entire ocean fills the space separating them. Judy feels infinitely too far from Jen, but she doesn’t want to suffocate her. She has no right to ask Jen for so much. She is constantly taking from Jen. She has taken her time, her guest house, her family, the father of her children. Judy’s heart clenches. She cannot ask for her personal space as well; her touch, her warmth, the tickle of her breath.

What on Earth was she thinking last night! Judy never spent so much time overthinking physical affection, especially with Jen. It was natural with them. Judy knew early on that she cared for Jen significantly more than a friend should. She was aware that it bordered on an obsession, but she kept it in check. Or she did until last night. Apparently barging into Jen’s room to cuddle in the middle of the night was the line not to cross. Now, Jen’s proximity fills her with a heady mix of fear and desire and Judy has no handle on it.

Judy’s thoughts are interrupted by Jen’s sudden movement. Jen stands immediately after the episode ends. “I think I’m calling it a night Jude. It’s been a long day.”

Judy nods in agreement. “I’m getting tired as well.” Judy starts in the direction to the guest house. She turns to Jen before opening the glass door, “Good night Jen.”

* * *

The second Jen’s face hits the pillows; she is engulfed by the scent of coconut lime shampoo. She is surrounded by the smell of Judy. Jen feels her entire body flush; her pulse quickens. She is struck by the knowledge that last night had not been a dream. _Maybe Judy feels the same? No, Judy is affectionate with everyone._

Jen lies awake in bed, unable to stop her racing thoughts. Jen has starred into Judy’s eyes for embarrassingly long periods and explained it off as platonic. Her eyes have lingered on Judy’s lips, and she justified it as being friendly admiration. Jen was even caught checking out Judy’s ass once. She adamantly explained to Christopher that she was fascinated by Judy’s skirt. Yet somehow, the smell of coconut lime shampoo is what sends her into a gay panic.

Jen feels the weight of years of repression pressing down on her chest. In response, her mental stream of self-loathing and doubt kicks in. _I’m not into women! I am not about to fucking have a midlife sexuality crisis. My mother would be so ashamed of me... Who am I kidding? It doesn’t even matter; no one could be interested in me anyway, let alone a beautiful woman. I can’t even stand to look at myself shirtless… I’d make a fool of myself trying to figure out what to do, where to squeeze, where to kiss…God I’m so into Judy. Fuck._

A breeze suddenly comes through the window and Jen shivers. She immediately notices how much colder the bed feels without Judy’s warmth. It feels empty and wrong. Another breeze enters the room. “Ughhh.” Jen grumbles. “There is no way I’m sleeping tonight.” Jen suddenly remembers that she had the most restful sleep of her life last night; she woke up feeling completely refreshed. _I need sleep_. Jen knows that Judy is part of the reason that she is having trouble sleeping, but deep down, Jen also knows that Judy is the only one who can quiet her neurotic thoughts and lull her to sleep. Before she can stop herself, Jen texts Judy.

“Jude, are you up?”

Jen expects Judy to text her back if she’s awake. Instead, she hears Judy tiptoeing up the stairs.

“Hey Jen.” Judy’s head peaks in through the door.

Jen moves over to the side of the bed, hoping Judy understands what she is asking for. Judy wordlessly slides into bed next to Jen and immediately cuddles into her. Like last night, Jen snuggles into Judy’s neck and snakes her arm over Judy’s middle. In the dark of night, covered in Judy’s warmth, and engulfed by the scent of coconut lime shampoo; Jen’s mind slows down. She lets their fingers interlock and allows their legs to tangle together. Jen sleeps like a baby.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading.  
> This is the first fan fic I've written so I would love to hear your thoughts. I have an idea what I want to happen in the next chapters but I'm curious to hear what you guys want or expect. So leave a comment - it'll make my day!  
> Happy Holidays!


End file.
